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Tales from the Coño Side
By Wanna Fellacio Torero
It's so hirap talaga to study in UP, the University of the Poor.
You know, I never wanted to study here. But my parents kasi, they both
went to UP and they said na it was the best school talaga. Eh 'di I
went.
But no! When I got here, Holy horrors! I was ready to make himatay
after the first day pa lang. Would you believe, there's no aircon na
nga in the classrooms, the fan doesn't work pa. And then this guy who
was like, wearing a sando, shorts and tsinelas lang made tabi next to
me. He made pakilala pa! The nerve! So I made takbo to the CR to make
tago. But I couldn't make hugas my hands that were so pawis from
escaping such a near-death experience. There was no liquid soap! Not
even a couch where I could sit to make kikay.
Do you feel my pain na ba? But wait, there's more. Last Thursday
kasi Daddy's Volvo was bawal, eh the Eclipse was being repaired, so I
had to make sakay with my yaya in the Ikot jeep. It was so siksik! I
could like, smell the putok of the girl next to me. Like, it was
sobrang mabaho talaga. Kasi naman, the Ikot jeeps are old na nga,
they're mainit pa! Sana they make palit na the jeeps with a shuttle
system. Okey lang naman even if there's an increase in pamasahe 'di ba?
So when the car is bawal, I can use my credit card na to make bayad.
Isa pa, you know the Shopping Center? It's so kadiri talaga. I'm
forced na nga to make Xerox there, (as if naman I could be caught in
that place otherwise) pero I'm so inis because it's so maliit and
madilim, and most of the stalls don't have aircon. They should tear it
down na and build a mall na lang. Then I wouldn't have to go to
Katipunan pa to get my Starbucks fix.
My gosh, this place is so bulok I don't know nga why anyone would
bother making turo here pa. Just yesterday, my professor was kinda inis
kasi her whiteboard marker had no more tinta! Then she tried to make
hanap a matino whiteboard marker but of course there was none. Duh!
Kasi naman if we had laptops instead of desks in every classroom there
would be no more need for whiteboards diba? But you know even if there
were laptops na, the seats are so tigas sometimes I find it mahirap to
concentrate. Dapat may cushioning para malambot sa butt, like Downy.
Now I'm in my third year na. I don't want to stay in this place
anymore. I don't give a paki if UP's the best university here. I'm
going to transfer to La Salle, where the CRs have liquid soap. Now na.
By Wanna Fellacio Torero
It's so hirap talaga to study in UP, the University of the Poor.
You know, I never wanted to study here. But my parents kasi, they both
went to UP and they said na it was the best school talaga. Eh 'di I
went.
But no! When I got here, Holy horrors! I was ready to make himatay
after the first day pa lang. Would you believe, there's no aircon na
nga in the classrooms, the fan doesn't work pa. And then this guy who
was like, wearing a sando, shorts and tsinelas lang made tabi next to
me. He made pakilala pa! The nerve! So I made takbo to the CR to make
tago. But I couldn't make hugas my hands that were so pawis from
escaping such a near-death experience. There was no liquid soap! Not
even a couch where I could sit to make kikay.
Do you feel my pain na ba? But wait, there's more. Last Thursday
kasi Daddy's Volvo was bawal, eh the Eclipse was being repaired, so I
had to make sakay with my yaya in the Ikot jeep. It was so siksik! I
could like, smell the putok of the girl next to me. Like, it was
sobrang mabaho talaga. Kasi naman, the Ikot jeeps are old na nga,
they're mainit pa! Sana they make palit na the jeeps with a shuttle
system. Okey lang naman even if there's an increase in pamasahe 'di ba?
So when the car is bawal, I can use my credit card na to make bayad.
Isa pa, you know the Shopping Center? It's so kadiri talaga. I'm
forced na nga to make Xerox there, (as if naman I could be caught in
that place otherwise) pero I'm so inis because it's so maliit and
madilim, and most of the stalls don't have aircon. They should tear it
down na and build a mall na lang. Then I wouldn't have to go to
Katipunan pa to get my Starbucks fix.
My gosh, this place is so bulok I don't know nga why anyone would
bother making turo here pa. Just yesterday, my professor was kinda inis
kasi her whiteboard marker had no more tinta! Then she tried to make
hanap a matino whiteboard marker but of course there was none. Duh!
Kasi naman if we had laptops instead of desks in every classroom there
would be no more need for whiteboards diba? But you know even if there
were laptops na, the seats are so tigas sometimes I find it mahirap to
concentrate. Dapat may cushioning para malambot sa butt, like Downy.
Now I'm in my third year na. I don't want to stay in this place
anymore. I don't give a paki if UP's the best university here. I'm
going to transfer to La Salle, where the CRs have liquid soap. Now na.
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annoyed
